“IT’S NOT EASY GOING GREEN”

Song Tribute to Mayor Mike Bloomberg

Written and performed by Christopher Mason

at the N.R.D.C. Gala honoring the Mayor

April 1, 2008

(to “It’s Not Easy Being Green”)

It’s not easy going green,

When you’re the mayor and all the taxi drivers scream,

’Cause you want hybrid cabs, to clean up the exhaust,

Sometimes your hope gets lost.

 

It’s not easy going green,

When politicians try to crush your precious dream

Of introducing your congestion-pricing scheme,

Just hold on to your dream . . .

 

(to “Second-Hand Rose”)

Of that swell eight-dollar charge,

Eight-dollar charge,

Some skeptics call it

Excessively large.

 

Though to some it doesn’t sound enticing,

Nothing works quite like congestion pricing;

When introduced,

Gridlock’s reduced,

Smog levels plummet

And subways get spruced.

 

Some in New York’s mighty legislature

Seem immune to the great call of nature;

Many were irked

But in London it worked,

Reduced congestion

Wherever it lurked.

 

With rising costs for taxis, tolls and parking,

Mike’s senior discount Metro card’s a bargain!

When you’re at large, pay that eight-dollar charge,

That neat, sweet, hard-to beat, eight-dollar charge.

Or . . .

 

(to “42nd Street”)

Take the bus or use your feet,

If you’re anxious to go

Anyplace that’s below

Sixtieth Street!

 

(to “ABC “– Jackson Five)

As mayor of New York City,

Michael Bloomberg’s heaven-sent,

With a plan to slash greenhouse emissions

Thirty percent!

Sure, he drove some smokers crazy,

Some abhorred his trans fat ban,

You can’t deny that here’s the guy

With the greatest greening plan.

 

The program is PLAN-Y-C,

Invented by Danny D,

With help from N.R.D.C.,

PLAN-Y-C,

The legacy

Of Mikey B.

 

Arnold Schwarzenegger’s hailed him

As his soul mate –I declare!

What an honor! What a duo!

They sure make a lovely pair.

If Arnold is the Terminator,

Mike’s the Stealth Machine,

Who’s gone from quoting stocks and bonds

To the uber-mayor of green.

 

Mike has started planting, folks,

A million city trees,

An awful lot of pollen

That is bound to make us sneeze;

They’re amazingly efficient

At absorbing city grime,

A substance we have plenty of,

More all the time.

 

That’s why we need PLAN-Y-C,

Invented by Danny D,

With help from N.R.D.C.,

PLAN-Y-C,

            Take your S.U.V.

To the I.R.T. now!

 

Thanks to Mike they’re planting mollusks now

In old Jamaica Bay,

That’s several tons of oysters,

In the murky, muddy grey;

An amazingly effective way

To filter human waste,

Ingenious, but a word of warning:

Not great to taste!

 

(to “Oh Beautiful For Spacious Skies”)

The lights upon the Rockefeller

Center Christmas tree

Still shine as bright with bulbs, Mike says,

That burn less energy.

At City Hall he’s switched

To 26-watt lights, beware –

Next he’ll be on a ladder

Changing light bulbs in Times Square!

 

He’s turned New Yorkers

Into outdoor people, eager folk,

Who throng to the outdoors  . . .

’cause it’s the only place to smoke!

An innovator to the core,

He’s really made his mark;

Perhaps he’ll fuel his jet

With rotting leaves from Central Park!

 

The city’s infrastructure

For storm water couldn’t cope,

So Mike came to the rescue

With a plan that offers hope;

He’s signed a bill to stem the swill

When stormy skies turn mean;

Pursuing a much cherished goal

To make our rivers clean.

 

to (“Moon River”)

Clean rivers, safe enough to swim,

Today they’re rather grim, don’t try;

If all Plan-Y-C’s goals should come to pass,

We’ll frolic with striped bass,

Clean rivers, some day.